The Aftermath....

The Aftermath....

There are no words to express the experience I had while in Jamaica... I cant call it amazing (not grand enough) liberating (not descriptive enough) humbling (almost) wonderful (overused).....

I dont know what to call it... Ill just call it.... For me.. 

Im clear that I went with 16 other people and we interacted with each other everyday. I was able to bounce ideas, hear concerns and challenges, have my own emotions go though a few changes, watch walls come tumbling down and then have them come right back up, watch the Holy Spirit have its way in my heart and others.... There was so much that happened that it feels like I was in an Epic Thriller staring the Holy Spirit as the main character... you have to watch this one all the way until the end....

Im honored to be apart of these wonderful group of people that the Lord could only put together...but Im still left with the what now? We had a great time in paradise but now what? We are all facebook/twitter/intagram/email/gmail/skype friends but now what? God has released, confirmed, removed, altered, refocused, reaffirmed, remolded, reshaped and reformed all of us and our ministries in some way shape or form....BUT NOW WHAT??

One thing is true, I havent been able to put all these things that are in my head into a blog post (but thats coming)... what I am sure of is that this experience has changed me...charged me to pay attention to what God is paying attention to (Thanks Will Mack)... to pay attention to what Gods people are paying attention to and to stay where God is AT ALL TIMES.....

Get ready folks....this is going to be a bumpy ride.... strap up and strap in!!!

10 Things Ive learned about church folk.... #truth

As much as I love followers of Christ, I have come to understand that there are somethings about us that cause me to pause.... Truth is WE have got to do better.. #imjustsaying


Here are 10 things that I have learned so far

1). We, body of Christ, don't pray enough!! Everything should be bathed in prayer

2).  We talk too much and really just do stuff to make us "feel good".

3). There is a difference between relief and development.  Relief is the handout. Come here and get food, clothes, job etc but dont do anything else to invest in the person that you are helping.  Development is investment. Investing time, energy, love, prayer...doing life together with the ones in your community, family, church, occupation.... Its developing relationships, friendships with the ones around you.

4) We, the body of Christ, have become enablers.... We have enabled people to pew sit, to feel entitled to a handout, to feel unwanted/unneeded, to feel inadequate, ineffective... Yep..admit it we have

5).  We need to LISTEN more and TALK less #amenlights

6).  Great things are happening in and around us and we know NOTHING about it... Start venturing out to places in the city that you normally don't and see what God has his hands in

7).  Humbleness is a gift that not everyone has #preach

8). Planning EVERYTHING is not always the way to go. The Holy Spirit is really the head of all decisions and we need to rely more on what the spirit is doing.

9). Be genuine above all else

10).  Ill take a willing/faithful servant over an educated dummy any day #imjustsaying lol

Videos of Jamaica...

10 Things I Prayed About Learning During My Time In Jamacia

Expectations....

Coming to Jamaica I knew I had to be prepared... There was no way I was coming this far from home, come to God's country in the mountains and not be prepared to have God pour into me.. God sometimes has to take us away from those things that we love to give us a different perspective on our situations... Speak Paul!!! Speak Moses....

So there are a few things that I prayed about before coming here....

Here are my expectations:

1).  God to expose me to others in ministry that look completely different from the ministry I am involved in

2).  Create a sense of humility not only within me but within others

3).  To reveal to me the work that God has for me within the California and Portland Neighborhood

4).  How to engage my fellow co-horts in the ministry on how important it is to become engaged in our surrounding community

5).  Flush out my concerns, strongholds, issues, resistance to becoming a leader in my community

6).  To change my vocabulary; I becomes we, we becomes us, us becomes the community

7).  How can our church (COBC and Grace Community) can become beacons of change within our perspective neighborhoods

8).  Allowing the Holy Spirit to shape, reform, mold, break, make and alter our thinking about community development, outreach and ministry

9). Reveal who God has assigned for us to link up with to carry out the ministry of change

10). TO ALLOW MYSELF TO OPEN UP TO THE HOLY SPIRIT AND TO BECOME OBEDIENT TO THE WORK OF THE LORD

Bethel Retreat Center - Newport,Manchester Jamaica

The Chapel on campus.... This is the verse on the side of the building

This the group as we arrive here on campus...

The inside of the chapel....where we have praise and worship and the majority of our class time...

The absolute most gorgeous view of the mountain side...

More of the mountain....

Look at the sun in the horizon....

Breath taking....

Gods Country....

God's GREEN Earth...Gorgeous...

This is where I have devotions....

The entrance to the Retreat Center

The verse of the side of wall of the pool....

A Change in 2013...

As I look around me, I am marveled at what I see.... green grass, beautiful mountains, great people, gorgeous water.... I'm still humbled that I was asked to come.... apart of me feels like I don't deserve it... I mean who am I.... I don't run a community center, I'm not an active participant in any non-profit,  I don't have any grand ideas or have created a manual on how to work with the community..... I'm just Traci.. a simple girl with big dreams, a big heart and a open mind... How did I wind up in Newport Jamaica with these great people to discuss and learn about what God wants from us? How God wants to use us to transform communites? To become beacons of change? To use our God given talents and recreational talents to help shape the kingdom? To learn how to yield to the Holy Spirit? To allow the beauty of our uniqueness to shine through?  Goodness...I humbled to experience this... but God how did I get here?

So how did I get here?  I thank God for people that see things in me that I don't see.  Simply put, we are are the eyes and ears of God that see and hear things that others dont.  There are people around me that see what God has deposited into me but just hasnt come into fruitition. My journey began a few months ago when clearly heard God speaking to me that my life needed to change.  2013 had to be different... I had to change the way I viewed ministry... How I viewed GODS ministry... How I saw God working through me... I had to have a chit chat with myself and with God...

November and December were months of me speaking things as if they were even though they are not..  I knew I wanted to be a full time student... I wanted God to revamp my view on who I am and who I am to the body of Christ.... I just needed a change... My heart was becoming distorted... I wasn't sure of myself anymore...I was loosing my desire for ministry.... I felt the energy draining from me.... I didnt like the way I was viewing ministry and the tasks that God had given me.... I wanted to walk away and do something else... My spirit was willing but my flesh was weak.... I had allowed disappointment after disappoint topush me away from my call to ministry.... In essence, I threw my hands up, put on my Traci face and smile....went on like there was nothing wrong and conducted myself like I normally would... But to those who knew me....knew something was wrong...

 I wanted and needed to be different.... I knew a change of heart was inevitable... But a part of me was done with the foolishness that I was willing to stay in this desperate spot until whenever....but I knew that I couldnt do that either.... So here I am praying one day and I clearly heard the Holy Spirit whisper to me a change has come.... you can only be free from this thing through......*wait for it** fasting and prayer  *BIG SIGH* Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.... who wants to fast?? Thats not fair.... I don't want to give up anything... God I love to eat, my and my phone are attached at the hip, my car is my lifeline.... Goodness you have got to be kidding me..... The kid in me is jumping up and down throwing a fit... whining .. hollering crying SCREAMING....NOOOOOOO GOD...... *crosses arms* I dont wanna....

Then God took me to Mark 9;.... Help my unbelief.....This thing is too big for me to handle... God, help my unbelief... Traci you cant shake this your own....This you have to give to me.... Give EVERYTHING to me.....Then verse 29 reads....This can only come out through FASTING and PRAYER.....

GREAT... here we go.... Jesus be a fence...

Here we go.... Daniel Fast is what God laid on my heart.... I wasn't ready for the move that God was about to do in my life... I wish I could tell you all what really happened to me in detail... thats a later blog post.....That Fast is what got me prepared for what I see now... what I am about to experience now.... how I am able to deal with what God is about to do in life....